Tuesday, July 5, 2011

its heavy

so im back after not posting anything for MONTHS. between being busy, forgetful and just good ole procastination i have not been on at all. but im back, as i am leaving for art school on thursday and want this to be a way to keep my family up to date on my artwork.
it feels really weird right now, its really happening. it felt so unreal in april when i first applied. like yeah im signing up and i have months and months before i go than suddenly its here. i dunno, i guess that sounds strange. no one but me realizes what a big deal this is for me though. in a short few years ive changed so drastically. i could have never done this when i graduated highschool. i was so held back by anxiety, abandonment issues, and a whole gaggle of other personal battles i dont even want to talk about... point is this is ridiculous and in a good way.
for the most part i am excited. but it is bitter-sweet. i hate to think about what im leaving behind. my family, theyve always been my biggest fans and best support group... my only support really besides God Himself. theyve just been my world for so long, were so close. things will never be the same again come thursday afternoon when they help me move in and we say goodbye. sure, i hope to still be close and plan on calling/visiting often. but things will inevitably change. its just... heavy.
so this post probably meant nothing to anyone out there, sorry. i guess is was just more for me, getting some things off my chest since my journal is packed up already. i just needed to get this out of me.
my future is very hopeful, but this wont be without its struggles

No comments:

Post a Comment