Friday, July 8, 2011


well im here. thats about all i can say for now.
listening to music... its far to quite without it....

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

its heavy

so im back after not posting anything for MONTHS. between being busy, forgetful and just good ole procastination i have not been on at all. but im back, as i am leaving for art school on thursday and want this to be a way to keep my family up to date on my artwork.
it feels really weird right now, its really happening. it felt so unreal in april when i first applied. like yeah im signing up and i have months and months before i go than suddenly its here. i dunno, i guess that sounds strange. no one but me realizes what a big deal this is for me though. in a short few years ive changed so drastically. i could have never done this when i graduated highschool. i was so held back by anxiety, abandonment issues, and a whole gaggle of other personal battles i dont even want to talk about... point is this is ridiculous and in a good way.
for the most part i am excited. but it is bitter-sweet. i hate to think about what im leaving behind. my family, theyve always been my biggest fans and best support group... my only support really besides God Himself. theyve just been my world for so long, were so close. things will never be the same again come thursday afternoon when they help me move in and we say goodbye. sure, i hope to still be close and plan on calling/visiting often. but things will inevitably change. its just... heavy.
so this post probably meant nothing to anyone out there, sorry. i guess is was just more for me, getting some things off my chest since my journal is packed up already. i just needed to get this out of me.
my future is very hopeful, but this wont be without its struggles

Saturday, May 14, 2011


my latest pencil piece which i am sooo happy with.

i also want to talk about etsy. i had some art on there a while ago and im now trying again. art school means moving out and needing money i dont have, so if i could make some of art that would be great. im planning on selling prints as well as originals. all kinds of art since i like to play around with lots of different media. i think ill make the gerard way pic a print so if your a mcr fan... then... buy it...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

photos to prove im not dead

just some pics my sis took today. thanks kenz for your mad fashion photography skills. anyway..... i should so a self portrait with one of this... ive never really done one so yeah...

Sunday, April 17, 2011

invisible children

this weekend invisible children visited my church. it was such an amazing experience, i feel so inspired. its one thing to watch a dvd, its totally another to hear it from someone who was there. they brought a former child soldier, francis, an incredible person. ive known him for 3 days and miss him already. the rest of the team was amazing too. its so great to see people around my age with the same passion for africa as i have, it makes me want to join too. something to pray about for sure, ive been told some colleges allow the invisble children roadie progam to count as an internship. so maybe my final year of college... who knows

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Friday, April 8, 2011


i did this in my sketchbook a couple weeks ago and thought i should post it... cuz its cute and im trying to post something everyday now

Thursday, April 7, 2011

mask WIP

masquerade, paper faces on parade, masquerade hide your face so the world will never find you ill try to have the finished piece up soon btw i do not own those lyrics. i guess andrew loyd webber does...

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

my hand is deeeaaad!

my hand died thanks to my recent pen and ink obsession. but i guess it was worth it since im pretty happy with all these pieces.

Monday, March 28, 2011


Today my 5 year old cousin was playing with her toy cell phone. She said she was talking to Martin Luther King Jr and thanking him for all that he did for African Americans. She said she told him about her cousins (my brothers who are adopted from West Africa), that they were beautiful and black and that she was so thankful that because of him they could go anywhere she could. Thats pretty freaking great, I hope more kids are like Liv because if they are there might be hope for the human race yet...

Sunday, March 27, 2011


I'm amazed and disturbed at how quick one can lose who they are. How the words and actions of others can mean so much more than our own. How the approval of everyone around us can become so important that we must love what they love and hate what they hate... even if its ourselves. It makes no sense and yet the past has never been so clear to me... I just hate looking back, but the beginning of our stories are still a part of them, no matter how hard. I also believe that part of me needs those bad times, because even what I view as 'bad' has shaped me in a way that maybe would have never happened without the struggles in life. Either way, it will always be there. I can't forget but in the same respect, I can't dwell on it. In July I leave for art school... my demons won't be coming with me...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Adele - Rolling In The Deep

i love this song and the video's even better. i mean srsly is that a ninja... amazing

Sunday, March 13, 2011

sketchbook post

so here's the explanation: my bro kyle lost a tooth to a corndog, how anybody does that i don't know. but anyway it fell out and he bit down on his tooth, he said, "I thought it was a seed, but then I was like wait- corndogs don't have seeds!" and basically a story like that deserves an illustration with it.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

a change in the wind

i've spent way to many nights
fighting with something that can't be beaten
trying to win when i know that i can't
time doesnt stop
i can't change that
but what does change is everything
the wind
my defintion of love, friendship, home, myself
me, im guilty too
God is the only thing that stays the same
and i think i can live with that now

Friday, March 4, 2011

art institute

So its really happening, tomarrow I got to visit the Art Institute of York. I filled out my application, wrote my essay and I'm going to an open house. And I'm actually excited. So yeah, we shall see...

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

rip jane russell

So I'm really sad that a few days ago we lost Jane Russell, one of my favorite actresses. I beautiful person, in and out....
RIP, she will be missed.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Friday, February 18, 2011


i hate when i think i know what im doing and it turns out that i don't. when i think im headed in the right direction and the universe seems to be telling me so as well, them BAM i fall on my butt again. lately theres been alot of things that i was "sure" of that fell through... im just wondering when i'll truly find my place, who i am, who im meant to be with. right now im just wandering in the desert.... i guess i have to just make a move, dive in and hope that i can swim...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

nostalgic and inspired

expect some upcoming labyrinth pieces because i was just reflecting on how much i love that movie. i mean, any film that can be appreciated from childhood into adulthood is obviously great. plus its david freakin bowie whats not to like i ask? and the imagery is just great, major art inspiration for me.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


im sick and have been for several days now. somehow i got the flu AND bronchitis, needless to say im losing my patience with recovering as my sanity. thankfully i think this crap has just about run its course (i cant wait to get out of the house and see the outside world again) anyway because im still sick and feeling frustrated, unenthusiastic, tired... you get the point im just going to post a picture of a baby antelope. you will look at it and its tiny legs and adorable hooves and be overcome by its cuteness. fin

Saturday, February 5, 2011

the wind sounds like its going to blow my house down

im ready for spring... i think the groundhog predicted spring. i dunno, is that even accurate? it seems like all i can do anymore is sleep and i blame the weather. its still kinda dark when i get up and thats at 10:00 am. so i wake up and anticipate going to bed again all day.
i want to see the sun again. literally and figuratively...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

nightmare fuel for everyone

scary... or strangely cute, i do have an infinity for slightly demonic-looking animals. but either way, its just wrong.

pixie market

i love this site and someday i hope to be able to afford the clothes on it... being an artist that's unlikely. but i can dream can't i. also i want johnny depp to fall for me, be the person to prove the existence of bigfoot and keep one as a pet, oh and i want to be in a christopher nolan movie someday. are my hopes too high? lulz

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

sylvia ji

this is one of my favorite artists:

her subjects are amazing, i love the sugar skulls. her use of space is incredible too, the way she uses hair and feathers and things as one solid shape. the patterns and colors are great too. theres alot of things i like about her basically. take it in people, take it in.
i do not own these pics, find more here:

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

seasons change

when the snow first came
i pretended not to see it
i held tight to you
telling myself
that because i could touch you
you were real
cold winds brought ice and hale
that made me loose my grip
but as i let go
i reminded myself
spring is coming
seasons change

something i came up with last night, ironically we got a big ice storm here. is that ironic or am i using the wrong word.... anyway, it came to me that last winter (physical winter) was bad for me too. i was going through alot of metaphorical storms then too. i should move to a place where its always warm, huh....

Monday, January 31, 2011

Sunday, January 30, 2011

i kinda like this

the song is pretty fantastic, lyric wise. her voice is great too but whats gets me is that violent ballet. yeah thats what won me over...

Saturday, January 29, 2011


you know that scene in the prestige when the girl is drowning in that clear box thing. shes pounding on the glass and trying to scream but of course no one can hear her because she's under water. hugh jackman is panicking on the outside and trying to save her... i feel like that. i believe we're both aware of each other, only a metaphorical pane of glass is keeping us apart... i can beat on it until my fists bleed, but you can't save me from drowning.

Friday, January 28, 2011

diamond eyes

im on the front line
dont worry i'll be fine
the story is just beginning
i say goodbye to my weakness
so long to the regret
and now i see the world through diamond eyes

inspired by shinedown's diamond eyes. its a combination of pen, marker and watercolor on bristol board. unfortunently it didn't scan so well, probably because of where the paper buckles from being wet. oh well, it was just a quick piece. i wanted to try a different technique for hair and im pretty happy with the way that turned out.


there’s a monster at the foot of my bed
i can see it in the light of the moon
its eyes glowing red
i can't sleep, won't close my eyes, i fear that if i do
it'll eat me alive with its drool-coated fangs
and i will never see you....

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

a new goal

i realized that i need to stop focusing on what i don't want and instead focus on what i do want.

curiouser and curiouser

i am alice, i fell down a rabbit hole....

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

the future is like a japanese game show...

tonight i was watching 30 rock and at one point tracy morgan said; the future is like a japanese game show, you don't know what's happening. as hilarious as that sounds i started thinking about how true that is. this month has been chaos for me, i've made a lot of tough choices and done a lot of things i didn't want to do but had to be done. yesterday being one of the hardest things; i quit my job. it leaves me in... not such a good place financially, yeah. i also tend to be very introverted so for me it was awful speaking out and saying how i felt and that i needed to quit. im usually content in a situation even if i hate it, because i hate rocking boats more. but it had to be done for a lot of reasons... one being i didn't feel right there. i believe that God has things waiting for me, good things, if im in the right place in life. physically, spiritually and emotionally. where should i be? i have no clue; but thats life. being unsure of things, doing things afraid, being honest even when its hard. these are some things ive learned so far in 2011, honesty especially. its beginning to be a very interesting year so far, im learning alot about myself. i just hope the rest of the year brings good things for me. but i have no way of knowing right now... like a japanese game show.... or anything japanese for that matter i just dont get their society at all. their halloween costumes, their toys... some of it is just baffling...

Saturday, January 22, 2011


theres nothing like an animal making a weird face to cheer me up

burning bridges

the smell of gasoline in the air
a match has been lit
i'll watch in the warm glow of fire
as this bridge burns
i hope you go down with it

Friday, January 21, 2011

for you

i am disappointed
cos this burden won't lift
but maybe that's cos i won't let it
the weight on my shoulders
i secure firmly with my hands
and the sorrow in my heart
i hold for you

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

it just occured to me

i can't mourn the loss of something that i never had.....

maybe wolves will eat me

so many times ive walked this path
dried mud and fragments of rock are caked to my boots now
i walk and few miles, things look the same
i've passed that tree a thousand times
i just know it
so, i turn around, walk back
decide i made a mistake...
and carry on in the other direction again.

there are rules to poetry, even if they don't rhyme. something with syllables or stuff like that, i dunno. and tonight im to tired and frusterated to care. i spelled weird wrong on a post...

Monday, January 17, 2011

im cryin' out but you can't hear...

im so crazy for this song right now

im in here (piano version) by sia

Sunday, January 16, 2011

oh what a weekend.

i find i have a problem with saying what i mean... and sometimes, meaning what i say. yeah. im going to work on that...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

while searching for bats...

i needed a reference pic of a bat for a piece i was starting today and i came upon two of the most adorable pictures in the world. you must look upon the cuteness!!!

Friday, January 14, 2011

You won’t be the heartache that keeps me sleepless

by needtobreathe

I won’t be the circus that you’re the star in
I won’t leave you roses to watch them die
You won’t be the heartache that keeps me sleepless
You won’t be the songs that I can never write

Cause I don’t want to stay, I don’t want to fall
I don’t want to have to see you leave me
I don’t want to take, I don’t want to lose it all
Maybe I’m a fake, maybe you’re a lie
Maybe our last chance died with last night
Cause I don’t want to stay I don’t want to fall in love
With you again
With you again

I won’t be the fortress for you to hide in
I won’t be the first one you think to call
You won’t be the regrets that I can’t live with
He won’t be the last one to never have to lose it all

Cause I don’t want to stay, I don’t want to fall
I don’t want to have to see you leave me
I don’t want to take, I don’t want to lose it all
Maybe I’m a fake, maybe you’re a lie
Maybe our last chance died with last night
Cause I don’t want to stay I don’t want to fall in love

When we’re scared and lonely
We will tell ourselves we’re only
Just a word from what we needed all along
This ain’t right

I don’t want to stay, I don’t want to fall
I don’t want to have to see you leave me
I don’t want to take, I don’t want to lose it all
Maybe I’m a fake, maybe you’re a lie
Maybe our last chance died with last night
Cause I don’t want to stay I don’t want to fall in love

I can’t stay
With you again